from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
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