So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Randomize
