can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
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Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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