Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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