i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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