I want to walk on stilts...naked
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
