ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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