Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
