hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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