Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
Randomize
