The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
