I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
