Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
