she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Randomize
