I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
