he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
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