I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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