Have you finally orgasmed yet?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
