Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
