just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Randomize
