I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
