i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just invented taco cereal.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
