What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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