i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
