I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Randomize
