literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
