we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
