Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
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