Yo dont text me then not text me
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
