If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Randomize
