So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
