Me. At least after what I've been through.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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