ya dads aren't the best wingmen
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
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