May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
