Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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