and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Randomize