you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Damn victory sex feels great
as a side note pls kill me
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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