this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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