He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
only you would photoshop your dick
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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