I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
If its not for food we ain't going out.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
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