I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
i think i have two assholes
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
