well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Randomize