Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize