the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Did you just see the Batmobile???
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
True strength comes from lack of pants
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
