Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
it's great music for shaving your balls
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
