I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Randomize
