Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Randomize
