i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
