piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
