Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
