Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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