last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Randomize
