I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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