SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I just googled if crying burns calories
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
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