do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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