It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
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